CORY SCHULTZ

Ok, admitedly, this one is a real stretch. Cory was a staple of the Two Rivers Public School System, through 8th grade, when his parents decided to ship him off to Roncalli. But what the hell. Jason Anderson already mentioned him in his comments. And there's no doubt that others will recall him. So here goes.

I first met Cory in 5th grade - in Ms. Krause's class. Jason put it best. Cory was kind of a dick. He was rather loud and obnoxious. But he more-or-less got along with everyobody. I think he was part of the whole football card trading crew. What I remember from that year is a joke he told me. What do you call a girl with braces? A Black & Decker pecker wrecker. Priceless.

In that same year, I also recall Cory talking about where he would go if his parents ever died. He lamented the fact that he would remain in Wisconsin, while his brother would be moving to California to live with an uncle or something. He was jealous. Geez Cory, wouldn't the bigger issue be that your parents had just died???

Fast forward to 8th grade. By this time, a select few dubbed him with the nickname of "popper." Don't ask me what it means. Cory and Lance Spradlin once got into a small altercation near their lockers. Some punches were thrown. Mr. Stodola caught them, dragged them into his room (where I was staying after school on this day) and forced them to apologize to each other, and shake hands. Cory congratulated Lance on throwing a good punch.

My biggest Cory memory also comes from 8th grade. It's from November, 1984. It was right before the presidential election. L.B. Clarke school, in its ultimate wisdom, decided to hold a mock debate in the gym. And the moderators were students. I recall Richard Wheeler and John Kern being on the Democrats' side.

At one point, they fielded questions from the crowd. Cory had one. He posed some sort of question about coat hangar abortions. I'm, not sure what exactly happened. But somehow Cory got up, was egged on, and came down the bleachers, and joined the panel, where he sounded off about his views on coat hangar abortions. Eventually the debate turned to other topics. But the unprepared Cory stayed on the panel. Whenever it came to him to speak, he changed the topic again, always going back to coat hangar abortions. He did this several times. I think they eventually stopped talking to him.

The debate ended with half the students chanting "Reagan, Reagan," while the other half (well, probably slightly less than half) chanted "Mondale, Mondale." We all then had the chance to vote. The next day, Ms. Koeppe announced the results. My numbers are obviously wrong. But it went something like this"

Reagan - 135
Mondale - 115
Other - 200

Yeah, we really took that vote seriously.

I saw Cory several times at the video store. He was nice enough. I do remember he tried to pick up a girl once, by telling her that she smelled really nice. He and his movie left alone. The last I knew, he was still living in Two Rivers.