Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Lisa and I were neighbors. She lived directly across the street from me for almost nine years. We moved to Two Rivers in November, 1980 - 4th grade. I basically met the neighborhood kids in the spring and summer of 1981. And thus, I met Lisa.

Lisa was a nice girl. I always felt somewhat intimidated by her. For the life of me, I don't know why. Perhaps it was because her older sister Karen used to babysit me for a year or two. I actually spent a lot of time with her younger brother Dan.

The Kings were good people. All their kids were nice. They seemed to be "raised right" so to speak. Lisa and I had Ms. Krause in 5th grade. But after that, despite seven more school years, our paths didn't cross together again until our senior year, in Mr. Hensl's College Prep English class. That's a long gap! Needless to say, the paths that each of us took were vastly different.

In highschool Lisa was a cheerleader. She seemed to be in the "in crowd" - but perhaps one tier lower than the upper levels of that crowd. As a senior, she dated another 1989 graduate, a guy named Ross Hofmann. I ran into her a few times at the video store. By that time, Ross was history.

Lisa attended my 10th birthday party. I still have pictures. It took place at McDonald's. During the summer of 1981, I found a tiny black kitten. We named him Lucky. I used to carry him around in my shirt, in front of my neck. He loved it. Lucky made me the star of the neighborhood that summer. That's basically when Lisa and I first met. See the photo below? Click it to enlarge it. But there's a girl in the middle with her back turned. She's wearing green pants. You'll have to take my word for it. But that's Lisa. By the way. See the guy on the left, in the red shirt? That's fellow graduate Mark Gordon. This picture is from late September, 1981.

One day in 5th or 6th grade, I somehow found myself on Lisa's front porch, along with my friend Doug Wall. I don't recall what circumstances brought us there. But there we were. For whatever reason, Doug (who I'll have much more on later) decided to drop his pants and show off his goods to Lisa and her friend Tricia Wetzel (another 1989 graduate). Based on their age, it was probably the first non-family weiner they'd ever seen. They stayed safely beind the door, but enjoyed peeking and giggling. Doug was in our grade as well, but had been held back two different years. So he was a bit older than the rest of us - and a tad more developed. He already had some hair growing down there. Maybe he was showing off. I don't know. Doug was a pig as well. At one point, one of the girls said that if he did it again, that they would do it too. Doug eagerly obliged. Of course neither of them did. A few minutes later Lisa's dad pulled up in the driveway. Luckily for Doug, he didn't see anything. Later on, Lisa told me that they had told her dad. But I didn't believe her. I'm sure her dad would have done something had he known.

My friend Dave Svatek told me that as a senior, during the night of the senior lock-in at school, Lisa and Ross were caught having sex. Again, this is complete heresay. I didn't attend. But this is what I was told.

Dave once told me that he had a conversation about me with Lisa. They found themselves walking down the hall together after school. Dave somehow mentioned me. And Lisa said something like "You don't hang around with Burt, do you? I heard he put shit in the microwave."

To Dave's credit, he stuck up for me and told Lisa "You just don't know him." I'm sure Lisa wasn't swayed.

Obviously I don't know if this is true. But there were some who thought that Lisa may have had an eating disorder. She certainly looked the part. She was very thin - probably too thin. One day in that same english class, several students were looking at recent photos from a dance - either homecoming or prom, most likely. Lisa was talking to Dave. And she had her photo. Lisa said that the photo made her look fat. Dave looked right at her, scoffed and rolled his eyes. No photo could make her look fat.

Lisa probably doesn't know it. But she actually made me vomit once. Back in 5th or 6th grade, she happened to come outside with a friend of hers. They had a plate full of some sort of red goo. They alleged that it was puke. And then they started to eat it. Now, none of us who saw this actually believed that it was puke. It was some sort of cherry filling or something. But some sort of gag reflex triggered in me. And I had to run back across the street to my own house, where I promptly went inside and puked in the sink. I told no one.

As a kid, I used to carry a tape recorder around quite a bit. And to this day, I still have a recording of Lisa. The King's had a piano in their garage. And I have a tape of her playing it, discovering that her brother and I were taping her, yelling at us, then asking me to come back so she could here it.

Lisa went on to marry class of 1984's Gregg Brull. Last I knew, they were living in Oshkosh. And she was teaching people with learning disabilities. I believe they had two kids. But that information may be out of date.

UPDATE - 11/10/06 - Here is Lisa, along with Jenny Malley, on our senior video.


At Thu Jan 12, 09:11:00 AM PST, Blogger the_meff said...

Well if this website achieves one this, it will be this: the vast differences between truth and perception and society as a whole.

You see, my Lisa King experiences are much less positive. The lion's share of my contact with her would have been in 5th and certainly 6th grade. She hung out with Heather Bailey quite a bit. She was also one of Mr. Stodola's favorite female foils. Much of his less than amusing humor was leveled her way, a sort of junior Gracie Allen to his George Burns. Mostly it was just irritating pandering by Stodola though, blatantly attempting to jive with the "cool." And Lisa certainly seemed to have that distinction.

I know I was able to make her laugh more often than not, though this was probably on the gross-out meter only. As in poop/puke/fart stuff. If I recall, she may have been one of the first readers of my dookie opus of literature, the neo-legendary "From Here To Defecation." (Don't ask.)

Anyway, much of my memories of her are somewhat negative. She was kinda' snippy, holier than thou, and more than a little full of herself. But then so was I so the blame can't certainly be totally laid upon her.

Y'know, a new memory has surfaced as I was typing this. I believe I worked in relatively close quarters with her in Ms. Maki's Social Studies class. We were teamed up to research South America together, and if I remember corretly, we had, strangely enough, a good time together. We made fun of, like, the mountain people of Peru and cracked stupid jokes about the names of South American landmarks.

Because as we all know, Lake Titicaca is always good for a larf.


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