Monday, May 22, 2006


Dean is a guy I met in 5th grade.

Dean was a nerd. That's such a childish word. But really, that's what he was. Personally, I think he was higher up on the nerd totem poll than most of the others. But he was still one of them.

Dean had very large glasses. And he always had a look on his face like he was in pain. I got along with Dean for the most part. I'm pretty sure he was involved in all the football and baseball card trading that went on that year.

Dean was also a pretty smart guy. He was into athletics. But I'm not sure if he participated much. Something tells me he may have played football a year or two. He kind of had a wide frame.

In the summer of 1982, I ran into (or swam into) Dean at the family swim place by Magee. He and I started talking. Then I went over to his house. That was an interesting experience. The house was filthy. It was also one of the messiest homes I'd ever seen. More than once I had to dodge some cat shit that was on the floor. I even noticed a pile of cat shit resting on the vacuum cleaner. I guess it hadn't been used in awhile.

Dean and I stayed in his room and played Atari. I remember we played Keystone Kapers quite a bit. Then Dean showed me something I'd never seen before, and have never seen since. He opened up the refrigerator and showed me a chocolate penis. Yes, I said chocolate penis. You don't see those two words side by side very often. It belonged to his parents. I have no idea where one would go to get such a thing. But they found a way. Awhile later, his parents came home. And I kept talking about the chocolate dick in the fridge. Dean kept telling me to be quiet. But I was having too much fun being loud. I'm sure they heard me.

Dean always had great big glasses, even as the years went by. To me, he sort of looked like an owl. He also seemed kind of stiff, as if he were standing too far upright, so as to actually bend back a little bit.

I had Dean in 6th grade as well. Or perhaps he only came into my class for reading. No, I think he was there all day. The only thing I remember is that he once did a report on the guy who started the game of basketball. Dean was a big basketball fan.

After 6th grade, Dean and I didn't talk much. We always got along. We just didn't mingle. In high school, I'm not sure what sort of crowd he hung with. Maybe he was his own clique.

On our senior video, Dean mentions that his plans for after high school are to make a ton of money, buy the Milwaukee Bucks, and have more cash than Donald Trump. I'm pretty sure he hasn't fulfilled any of those goals. Instead, I think he went to college somewhere, with ambitions of becoming a journalist. It looks like he landed a job at a newspaper in Fairbanks, Alaska. But now it looks like he's writing for a paper near Rochester, New York. It looks like he's married to a woman named Lori. But I don't think they have any kids.

UPDATE - 1/26/06 - I uploaded Dean's clip from the senior video. Also, I found some additional information about him. He attended Cornell College. Today he still lives in New York, with his wife, one cat, and three fish. He writes for the Messenger Post Newspaper, which apparently is an online newspaper in New York. He's the sports reporter. A recent photo of him can be seen below the Youtube clip. He looks pretty much exactly the same.

UPDATE - 4/13/07 - Well, Dean's wife came by and left a comment. She also E-mailed me, and provided me with a link to their website, as well as a bunch of photos. You can check out the website here. THE LICHTERMANS

The website has a detailed story of how Dean and his wife met. It also has tons of pictures - some of which I've posted below.






DEAN & WIFE (2001)

DEAN & WIFE (2003)


UPDATE - 6/13/07 - Dean no longer works for that particular newspaper. I don't know where he works today.


At Tue May 23, 07:00:00 PM PDT, Blogger jenny said...

does anyone remember dean's obsession with debbie gibson?

At Tue May 23, 08:29:00 PM PDT, Blogger TWORIVERSWALRUS said...

Debbie Gibson? Are you serious?

At Tue May 23, 09:22:00 PM PDT, Blogger Greg Pagel said...

I don't remember that... but if Debbie Gibson were in any way connected with hockey or basketball, it would totally compute.

Man, I love that little picture of me...

At Tue May 23, 11:25:00 PM PDT, Blogger the_meff said...

Man, Dean-o and me go wayyy back. And, as far as I can tell, he hated my guts most of the time.

I'm tickled he went into journalism. It is because of this that he began a lifelong hatred of me.

See, as a kid, I had really grandiose schemes and notions. (some would say things have never changed...see my last two attempts at filmmaking for further details)
Anyway, I thought it would be slick to publish a weekly newspaper covering all the dealings of Miss Charter's 4th grade class. I had no idea how to go about this but, pshaw! Details, details, don't bother me with details!

Anyway, I hired Dean as ace reporter. If I recall, he was working on a "story" about the Reagan inauguration as it played out on our classroom TV. He tried to get my attention, which brought the ire of our teacher. In short, he was chewed out.

After class, for whatever reason, Dean slammed my skull into Brian Belongia's. It seems he was peeved about taking the rap for talking to me during class. Anyway, Brian was fine, walked away like nothing happened. Hard skull on the future Pastor. I had a welt growing the size of a Fiat. As I sat in the corner of the room, whimpering and trying to remember my shoe size and phone number, Miss Charter gets wind of what happened. Again, she comes down on Dean like a ton of bricks.

He took it well.

He vowed to beat the dogshit out of me after school.

He never did get around to it but from that point on he detested me and all members of my family.

Dean was in my cub scout troop. Whenever he had dealings with myself or my father or mother, who'd come along on some small outing or occasion, he'd sneer at any given time at any one of us.

My favorite line from my Dad? "That Lichterman kid is a walking example of why tigers eat their young." (little did I know that he'd lifted that line from Caddyshack but still...)

Anyway, hopefully all is well with Dean. In spite of the fact that he hated my guts with every inch of his being from 1980 onward, I actually did enjoy hanging out with him... that is, before he wished me to swim with the fishes.

At Fri Jun 23, 09:50:00 PM PDT, Blogger scott i-da-ho said...

OMG the fact someone other than me posted about seeing poo lying on the floor in his house...wow I remember Jeff Salstrand and I went over to Dean's house and if memory serves me right we were invited to his birthday party one year to all go to that pizza place, I'm thinking it's called Chucky Cheese...and we were watching him play on the piano because his mom said what a good player he was so he obliged. But during the course of that we noticed there was dog poop on the vacuum cleaner. Well not only was it there, but it was still there the next time I went over to his house! Needless to say Jeff teased him something awful about that for some time.

At Fri Apr 13, 12:13:00 AM PDT, Blogger MrsDeanLichterman said...

Um, yeah, nice. No, we have no children yet, two losses, and you can add two birds to the pet count, take away one fish. God Bless!

At Mon Oct 08, 08:08:00 AM PDT, Blogger psl39 said...

Well, I've been informed that Dean wants my previous post deleted because it offends him. Now I have to wonder, how can anyone possibly be offended by the truth?
I'll say it again: Dean was FIRED from Messenger Post Newspapers on Monday, January 29, 2007. This was confirmed to me in an e-mail from the executive sports editor, and the administrator of this site has seen that e-mail. I don't want to create any conflict for the administrator or anyone else; this is a great site, even though I don't know anyone here. Heck, I wish my high school had anything close to this.
But I just wanted to set the record straight. I'd like to think this is the end of this controversy, but knowing Dean, I doubt it.


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