MR. WOOD

Wow. Where does one begin with this guy? I have a lot I could say. And I've wrestled with it for a few months. Scandal, rumors... do I write about them? When I first started this project, it was just a personal diary. But by placing it in a public forum, I've opened it up to anyone with internet access. Now I have an audience - a big audience. I know and understand that anything I say here may (and probably will) be read by the individuals I write about. For the most part, I've followed a couple of basic guidelines. Tell the truth. And if someone else told me something, make it clear that I can't verify its authenticity. Basically what that means is that if I wasn't witness to something, but someone told me about it, then it's just a rumor. But if the rumor existed, then what's wrong with mentioning it? Those are the same guidelines I'm going to take when dealing with Mr. Wood.

First and foremost, I want to make it clear that I wish nothing but the best for him today. Yes, I had problems with this guy. I thought he was a fucking asshole. I believe we had a mutal hatred for each other at the time. But those feelings are long gone - at least on my part. If I were to run into him today, I'm sure it would be cordial - at least on my part.

Mr. Wood was the vice principal of Washington High School. He was also the father of fellow graduate Wyatt Wood. I really liked Wyatt. I think Wyatt takes after his mother.

I first met Mr. Wood in September, 1985. If you read my entry on Kevin Dehne, you'll see me mention the throwing star incident. Ms. Sapa kicked me out of her class, and walked me down to Wood's office. This was my first time meeting him. And he wasn't happy about it.

Wood sat me down and got all smug with me - talking nice, but clearly in a mocking tone. When he saw the throwing star, he said, "I have one of these. I know what this is." He repeated it over and over, as he dug through his desk. And sure shit, he found one! He then stood up and whipped it at my head. He missed. But in all honesty, I'm sure he missed on purpose. It ended up hitting the wall, and knocking down a few photographs of some of the girls on the basketball team. Then he started screaming at me. Truth be told, I was startled. No authority figure had ever come at me with a weapon before. But that was Wood being Wood. He wanted to rule by fear. Intimidation was his weapon. But the sad thing is that the more you saw him, the more that intimidation fades. Then all you can do is laugh at him. And boy oh boy, he didn't like that! Anyway, he said to the secretary, "Carol, give him three." That meant three detentions. Incidentally, Carol was Carol Podhola - mother of fellow graduate Brandon Podhola. Wood also told me that I wouldn't be allowed back into Sapa's class until one of my parents came in to talk with him.

Both my parents worked. So finding a time to come in was difficult. So the next day, I had to sit in the office instead of going to class. When Wood saw me, he screamed, "Where are your parents?" I said, "They're busy. Someone will come when they can." Wood was really irritated about that. He couldn't seem to comprehend that every parent can't just bow down to his whims. My mom found some time a day or two later. And I got back into Sapa's class.

I had several run-ins with Wood during my freshman year. I can't even recall all the incidents that were involved. But needless to say, I got to be very familiar with the detention room. Wood was one of three people at Washington that loved to yell, "This ain't L.B. Clarke!" Whatever. Wood, Mr. Hough and Mrs. Mull would say that at least five times each day.

Outside Wood's office was a bench. Someone had scribbled on the wall (in very small pencil) "BW SUCKS COCK"

See my entry on Ron Gretz for information regarding the ceiling tile bust. You can also see a picture of Wood. Wood told us that the only reason we weren't suspended was because it was the end of the year. So instead, he gave each of us 10 detentions. At that time, you could work with a janitor during study hall to work off two detentions. So I did that and served my time before the year was up.

In regards to that ceiling tile incident, my mom ended up having to go down to the school. It was the first time she had seen Wood in several months. The reason for that is simple. Everytime I got in trouble at school, or got kicked out of a class or something, Wood would demand to have a conference with one of my parents. After the first few conferences, my mom said that she would never go back. She stated that Wood was a rotten man, and she wanted nothing more to do with him. From that point on, whenever Wood had the secretaries call her to set up a conference, she flat out told them no. Urged on by Wood, they would tell her that she or my dad had to come down to speak with him. My mom insisted that they never would. And if they wanted one of them to come down, they had to arrange for them to meet with someone else. How cool is that? Eventually they gave up trying. From that point on, anytime one of my parents had to come down for a conference, they got to speak with Mr. Schott - who was as good a man as you'll ever meet.

I saw Wood one day in the summer of 1986, when I was in summer school. We passed each other on the steps. He had this goofy beanie-type hat, and was carrying a small dog. He looked ridiculous.

At the beginning of sophomore year, I had a bizarre statement directed at me from Wood. It was picture day. Throughout the morning, they would call us down by our homerooms to get our pictures taken for the yearbook. I was planning on skipping it. I was actually outside when my homeroom was called. Why? Because it was my lunch break. I was actually down by the river, relaxing and eating a bologna sandwich. I remember wondering how they could possibly continue to take pictures over the lunch periods. Several students left school during lunch. Great planning! Anyway, the homerooms were called alphabetically. As I had Mr. Wheeler, my homeroom was one of the very last to be called. As I was walking back inside to get ready to go to my 5th hour class, they suddenly made a new announcement. Anyone who had yet to get their picture taken was to come down by the gym to have it done. Well, despite my plan to skip it, I decided to go - because it would get me out of class for awhile. So I wandered down to the hallway outside the gym. I saw the photographer. No other students had shown up. So he was just about finished packing his equipment. Mr. Wood was there too.

WOOD: "What do you want?"

ME: "I'm here to get my picture taken."

WOOD: "Where were you when your homeroom was called?"

ME: "I must have been outside."

WOOD: (Yelling) "Wardell, (they always say "dell") if you had a brain, you'd be eatin' lunch!"

Ok, I've wondered about that phrase since the day he said it. If I had a brain, I'd be eating lunch. Now what the hell does that mean??? Now, "if I had a brain" clearly indicates that he thinks I don't, then I would be eating lunch - presumably when my homeroom was called. Well gee, that's exactly what I was doing! So what the hell is he bitching about? But since I didn't have a brain, what should I have been doing instead? It's one of life's mysteries.

Anyway, the photographer unpacked his stuff and took a sloppy picture of me. See Mr. Wheeler's entry for the details on how it looked.

See my entry on Mr. Sustman for a sophomore year run-in with a bush. That minor incident also brought me into Wood's office, once he figured out it was me. I knew it was coming. So I brought my micro-cassette recorder to school, and had it recording when I went in there. Although I still have the tape, I haven't listened to it in years. But the conversation went something like this. As I walked in, Wood Started.

WOOD: "What's the matter sunshine?"

ME: "What?"

WOOD: "What's the matter sunshine?"

ME: "What are you talking about?"

WOOD: "If you're dumb enough to go beating down a bush... I've spoken to the janitor. He says the bush is gonna be ok. If not, you'd be paying $50.00 for a new one."

ME: (Laughing) "I wouldn't be paying for any bush."

WOOD: (Rising, and getting red-faced and bitter) "YES YOU WOULD!"

WOOD: "Get out of here. Carol, give him two!"

See my entry on Laura Fowler for a junior year confrontation with Wood - a confrontation that I won!

Amazingly, I had no detentions at all during my junior year. I guess I finally started to shape up. I followed the same path during my senior year as well. But near the end of the year, he got me.

During the first semester, I had a study hall for 7th hour. So I would get a pass to the library, then walk out the doors and go home. It worked out great. In the second semester, I had Mr. Schwantes' class for 7th hour, and a study hall for 6th hour. I asked Schwantes if I could switch the two classes, as he did teach the same class during 6th hour as well. He let me do it. So again, I was able to go home an hour early each day. It felt great! I just calmly waltzed out the front doors everyday. And no one ever noticed. But one day in April or May, the guidance counselor, Mr. Boehlke wanted to see me for some reason. I was supposed to be in study hall. But he couldn't find me. No one could. So the next day, Wood called me in and screamed, "Where were you?

ME: "I was downstairs."

WOOD: (Disbelieving) "You were supposed to be in study hall or the library."

ME: "Well, I was. Then I was downstairs. It's no big deal."

WOOD: "And I suppose taking down ceiling tiles was no big deal too."

ME: (Confused) "What???"

WOOD: "Carol, give him two!"

Why on Earth he brought up the three-year-old ceiling tile incident is beyond me. It had nothing to do with me skipping study hall. Whatever.

During my senior year, Craig Rysticken told a brief story about Mr. Wood. It was in Mr. Schwantes' sociology class. It was during the timeframe when a bunch of the seniors (including Craig) were betting big bucks on sheepshead games in the cafeteria. Craig actually saw Mr. Wood one evening, outside of school. Apparently a bunch of the teachers had gotten together for some reason - perhaps to play cards. Craig's dad (a teacher) was one of them. So it's probably safe to assume the get together was at Craig's house. Anyway, Craig described Wood as being very drunk, when he came over to him and said something to the effect of, "I'm gonna catch all you guys playing cards." He knew the betting was going on - even though no money was ever exchanged out in the open. Everything was done on paper. But eventually he busted them all anyway. I was just amused that Craig had talked about seeing Wood drunk.

Throughout my years at Washington, there were rumors about infidelity and scandal which surrounded Wood. I don't know all of the details. Perhaps someone else may be able to fill me in. But from what I was told by various people (most recently Meff) was that Mr. Wood was married to fellow Washington teacher Carol Wood. They are the parents to fellow graduate Wyatt Wood. Anyway, at some point, Wood allegedly had an affair with Mrs. Bonino - who was the wife of the gym teacher and football coach, Jerry Bonino. The Wood's divorced, as did the Bonino's. Mrs. Wood went on and married Mr. Schwantes - another teacher at the school. Mrs. Bonino ended up marrying Mr. Wood. That is one hell of a soap opera! I don't know when all these events happened. But I suspect it was in the late 1970's, or early 1980's. I would love to know all the details surrounding this story.

There was also another set of rumors surrounding Mr. Wood. And these rumors were far more scandalous. But in my time at Washington, there were rumors that at some point in the past, Wood may have had various affairs with members of the girls' basketball team. Wood was the coach of the team. I never paid much attention to the rumors. They just seemd too far-out to believe. Besides, I wondered how a man in his position would be able to get away with it, if he had done such things. Nonetheless, the rumors were there.

The rumors came to light again for me years later, when I was working at the video store. We had a regular customer who I'll call "D." She was a very nice woman. For whatever reason, we started talking about Washington High School one evening. I believe her daughter was attending the school at the time. Anyway, she started to complain about Mr. Wood, saying that he was a horrible man. I laughed and said, "I won't argue with you." But the look on her face was one of absolute disgust. It wasn't just a normal dislike of the man. She had a story to tell. She told me that she had been an employee at the Lighthouse Inn (perhaps even when it was the Carlton Inn). Anyway, she looked me in the eye and told me point blank that she had personally witnessed Mr. Wood take a student into a hotel room - perhaps other students at multiple times. She stated that she was sure the girl was underage. Then she used words like "disgusting" and "scum" to describe him. I was shocked. I told her that when I was in school, there were plenty of rumors about the alleged activities which she described. But I also told her I never really believed them. She told me the rumors were true.

For the record, I have absolutely no idea if what she told me was the truth. But there is no denying that she told it to me. And there is also no denying that those same rumors existed during my time in high school. I recently posed this question to several of my former classmates. I wondered if anyone else remembered those rumors. Many of them didn't. But some of them did. I'm going to choose not to believe them. Perhaps I don't want to believe them.

Speaking of the video store, I never ran into him there. However, he did call the store once. Around 1994 or 1995, there was a scandal in the national news about a woman named Kathy Willets. She was allegedly a nymphomaniac. Her husband was a deputy sheriff. She used to prostitute herself while her husband hid in the closet and filmed it. Anyway, after her trial, she ended up doing some porn work. And she had a movie made in which she starred in her own life story. Well, one night Mr. Wood called up and asked if we had it. We didn't. So I had to tell him no. I doubt he knew it was me on the phone. But I knew it was him! Anyone who has ever heard Wood's drawl will never forget it. His voice is unique and unmistakable. I ended up telling a friend of mine who also happens to be a local businessman. This guy runs into Wood from time to time. The next time he saw him, he said he told Wood something like, "Why are you calling T&R Video looking for porno movies?" According to this friend of mine, Wood got very upset and started screaming, "That son of a bitch!" Incidentally, this guy still runs into Wood every once in awhile today. Everytime he sees him, he says something like, "Burt says hi." At that point he says that Wood always launches into a minor tirade and says stuff like, "That son of a bitch! That son of a bitch! Did you know he took down all those ceiling tiles?"

I must say that I do get some perverse pleasure in knowing that after all these years, he still gets riled up by the mere mention of my name. But Jesus, let it go!

I believe in 2001, Wood was arrested for drunk driving. He was stopped near his house - perhaps in his driveway, or the driveway of a neighbor. He was allegedly so drunk that he had sort of run his car into a snowbank, had fallen out, and still thought he was driving when the cops pulled up. I would give a month's pay to have seen that! He was found guilty. The newspaper article is below. I don't know the exact date that this article appeared. But the postmark on the envelope (that a friend had mailed to me) was dated June 11, 2001.



Wood continued to coach the girls' basketball team. I believe he finally retired after the 2003-2004 season. He must have been a very good coach. Because it seems like his teams always won about 90% of their games. I believe the two pictures below are from his last season.





In my opinion, Wood should never have been in a position of authority with kids. I don't think he related well to them. He seemed like he was on some sort of power trip. And for what? Did he need to impress a bunch of kids? Wood dealt with discipline problems through fear. He yelled and screamed until he was red in the face. Eventually, the problem children became completely immune to that sort of nonsense. I know. I was one of them. The first time I had contact with him, he scared me. But by the third or fourth time, he was just a joke - a parody of himself. And when you get to that point, you lose your ability to reach kids. Then what good are you? The problem children are the ones that need the most help and guidance. Yelling at someone, or whipping a throwing star at their head isn't the way to go. It only breeds more anger, resentment and defiance. I wish him nothing but good luck today. I hope he's doing well and enjoying his retirement. But I'm also very happy that he's no longer working with kids.

UPDATE - 8/7/06 - Thanks to Mark Ciha for providing me with this information. Mr. Wood is still coaching. He coaches women's basketball at UW Manitowoc. He also coaches golf there. So I guess he's not fully retired.

UPDATE - 6/5/07 - A member of the class of 1990 (who prefers to remain anonymous) had this to say about Mr. Wood. "I can corroborate the no laughter allowed policy in the lunchroom, as Tina Kust and I were suspended by Mr. Wood from the lunchroom for three days for laughing. We then went to Jason Krings' house for lunch instead, and drank beers." Good stuff!

UPDATE - 10/5/07 - I found this picture of Wyatt Wood. It was apparently taken at a family golf outing. I include it here because standing behind Wyatt appears to be his father, Mr. Wood.