MRS. MAKI

Mrs. Maki (can't recall her first name) was a 6th grade teacher at Clarke. I didn't have her in any class. But I had several run-ins with her.

I'll be blunt. I thought Maki was a total bitch. She seemed to have it in for me, even though I never did anything to her. What the fuck? All my problems with her stemmed from the lunch room.

At some point during 6th grade, Maki began to patrol the lunch room, looking for trouble. She found it in me, I guess. For some reason, the school attempted to crack down on those who ate hot lunch - specifically those who didn't eat EVERYTHING that was given to them. Mind you, I generally had no problem eating. I love to eat - still do. But on occasion, I left something uneaten. Usually it was vegetables, the result of not pulling my tray away fast enough before they plopped down some sort of corn or bean mess onto it. I hate vegetables. They make me throw up. It's a curse. I wish I could eat them. But I can't.

Anyway, Maki would station herself at the garbage cans. And if any hot lunch kid tried to throw away some food, she'd send them back to their table, and force them to eat it. What's the logic behind this? My lunch was paid for by my parents. Whether I finished it all or not should make no difference. It was paid for! I should have asked for a doggie bag. Sometimes Maki would give the standard "There are starving people in Africa who would love to have that food." Of course my standard cocky retort was something like, "Well let's mail it to them!" Maki would scowl. Every once in awhile you could sneak up there while she was looking at someone else, and quickly dump your tray, banging it on the inside of the garbage can, and sending whatever refuse you had into it. She hated that too, and would really bitch at you. But there were never any repercussions other than a tongue lashing.

One day we had chili. I ate it all, with the exception of the chili beans, and a little sauce. I walked past a sitting Randy Ertman. He must have been hungry, because he grabbed my spoon and quickly took a couple of bites. It was funny. But he didn't get it all. Maki then told me to go sit down and finish it. I sat down. But there was no way in hell I would eat anymore. She kept me in there until everyone else had left, refusing to let me go. Finally when she could wait no longer, she left to go back to her class. I then dumped my bowl and returned to my own class. Again, what was the point?

One day I decided to launch my empty milk carton into the garbage. I was literally only 15-20 feet away. So it was no big deal - or so I thought. Even though I made the shot, Maki blew a gasket. She dragged me out of there and sat me down at my locker, way back in the 6th grade area. There I was to wait until she could tell Mrs. Casey. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the problem was. But when Casey came out of the teachers' lounge, and was told by Maki what I had done, she had a fit too. Maki didn't even get the opportunity to finish telling her the story, before Casey began blurting out, "He's just a pig. He's nothing but a pig!" That actually upset me. It was untrue and uncalled for. I'll have more on that incident when I write about her.

See my entry on Chris Thee for a humorous story on how he almost obliterated Mrs. Maki.

As late as 2003, I think Maki was still involved in teaching. I think she was associated with my old high school in some way. But I don't think she's there now. She may or may not be retired. She was younger than a lot of her peers back in the 1980's. So she may still be working somewhere. I haven't seen her. I don't really care to.